Hi...just to let you all know I am neither an Author or Writer, a Journalist or even a keen Diarist, I am just an Allotment bloke.
I'm not full of tips or hints although I've learnt that the first thing you need is a Steve. Every shed and greenhouse needs a Steve and also a Pip if you have one handy. After all the first words that one usually utters is "Steve have you got......?" "Pip can I borrow...?"and usually he has because his garage is full of exciting stuff that he's collected over the years and that I can't afford and even if I could I wouldn't know what to do with it.
Grumpy he may be and after a good moan he usually drags his sorry self out to help me and very grateful I am too beleive me. I mean, as one but example, I managed to purchase - yes I know I actually parted with £50 and for a Jerseyman thats a hard thing to do - a second hand hot or green house. Indeed, a splendid thing. But how to move such an edifice from St Ouen to Grouville? For those of you unfamiliar with Jersey its a bloomin long way - a good 40 minute drive. I hadn't considered how to put a 6'x8' frame onto a 3'x6' trailer safely. That's when you need a Steve. And it was F1 race day - very grumpy indeed. Nevertheless we made it and thankfully the kind vendor had taken it apart and labelled everything. Unfortunately the fragile frame took a bit of a battering as we manhandled it out of the back garden. I almost managed to sell the thing off the back of the trailer on the way home, as, having stopped for some running repairs, I was asked if I was going to the local Dump!Good news - we made it back to the Plot intact and Steve got home in time for the Grand Prix.
But I should start at the start and explain how I got into Allotment life. That's mostly down to Pip and his generous offer which securred my "rarer than rocking horse poo" plot. I won't bore you with the detail but some shenanigans went on and the deal was done leaving me in charge of a 30' x 90' field complete with shed. So in August 2011 I started the transformation from field with shed to where I am now...which is field with shed. No no I actually have worked my boots off and have the Alllotment Elbow to prove it. I have hand dug 90% and put a new free (pallet board) fence in at the bottom. ( The plot faces South on a nice gentle slope - perfect for early Jersey Royals)
So I decided to put some winter greens in just to get going you know - first flush of keenness and all- and I invested in some cabbage and kale and sprouts and some purple sprouting - nice. I kinda checked the fencing and by day 2 everything was looking fine. We're off thought I...or so it was until day 3 when I discovered Peter loking very content in the middle of my patch having devoured 90% of my lush young shoots. Varmit! Being made of strong stuff I carried on regardless. I put in a few late spuds and watched them grow and flourish. Lovely green stems which flowered nicely giving hope for a bumper crop. I've learnt that one must spray for blight.....I got a lovely crop of what I like to call Breakfast potatoes - tiny marbles which in large quantities fried can produce just enough for breakfast.
But I'm not detered by these harsh lessons. Indeed it makes me more determined especially as I owe Ross the price of a car which he gave me for free. A nice Mitsubishi auto 1.5 with tow bar - white with pink flowers and named "Flower Power". On her last legs but is doing marvelous service towing my trailer ( borrowed off Pip) collecting manure (off my friend Brenda.) So I devoted the rest of the year digging and digging and digging.
They say that bad news should probably be burried and so it passed last week that I discovered it. Yes , a cast iron bathtub. Having dug it out it has now become a hedgehog hazard and I am quite concerned for their welfare so ...Steve.....can you help move it? It's heavier than a Sumo wrestler and as awkward as a chocolate hip. So close to finishing yet so far...
But there's always something to do and as we are quite lucky here in Sunny Jersey I got my first early spuds in ( free from my St Ouen friends) on Jan 02. And the next tray in last weekend. As a rank amateur the rows aren't pretty but hopefully they'll do the job.Actually I'm green with envy as my neighbours spuds are ramrod straight and all beautifully banked. And they're pensioners!
Well thats enough for now. I'm not quite sure why I'm doing this . Even if it is just a living tekkie diary where I can jot down my successes and failures. If you have found me leave a mark so I know you've been here.
If you like what you've seen please come back again. Abetot as we say in Jerri.
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